September 5th, 2011 by Sappho ?Hi Sappho. My girlfriend and I have been together for a year now. We just celebrated. I?ve recently proposed to her and she said yes. We are both really excited about our wedding. However there is one thing that?s been weighing down on me. She?s my first lesbian relationship. Before her I only dated boys. I came into our relationship saying I was bi but I think I might be a lesbian. She?s worried that I?m going to wake up one day and realize I?m straight. I know I won?t but her constant worrying has started giving me dreams I don?t want. I keep dreaming about straight people having sex. It will even focus on the genitals. Before coming into this relationship I never questioned my sexuality. I thought one day ?o I like girls? and just assumed that meant I was bi, but being with her I?ve experienced things that I thought were meant only for fairy tales. What can I do to show her that she?s the only one that matters? I know she?s been cheated on by her Exes and always with boys but this should be about us and not everyone else right?? Anonymous, South
You have a point that this should be about both of you, and not about everyone else. In other words, you shouldn?t be judged based on the actions of her exes. In order to work well, relationships need trust. Unfortunately, some people struggle to trust easily because of previous experiences. Then people like you come along and help them rebuild their ability to trust in another person. However, this doesn?t mean it is your responsibility to repair damage caused by former relationships.
You ask an important question: what can you do to show her that she is the only one that matters? Well, you have already proposed to her and I am struggling to think of something that tops a wedding! Maybe she could ask herself what she can do to stop her from questioning your commitment. She is making herself unhappy by worrying about something that will probably never happen.
By being trustworthy and honest, you will help your partner trust again. However, she also needs to look at what she can do to enjoy and appreciate her current relationship, regardless of the past.
Do you have a sex/relationship problem you need Sappho?s help with? Email Sappho@lesbilicious.co.uk, and remember to include a name, age and location.
Source: http://www.lesbilicious.co.uk/sex-relationships/say-it-to-sappho-she-thinks-ill-leave-her-for-a-man/
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