I feel like I?m holding a stick of dynamite right now writing this.
I don?t have children which I think makes me MORE qualified to write about this because I?m looking at it from an objective perspective.
I also write some of this from the viewpoint of a coach who has worked with children who ?just won?t eat properly?, ?won?t go out the house? and ?won?t get off the computer?, yet we?ve seen massive changes in a short amount of time.
The fact is that kids are getting fatter, girls are starting their periods earlier which exposes them to issues later in life, boys are turning into girls and quite frankly we?re in danger of killing ourselves off.
So I figure if this article at least keeps a few boys on track to man hood and a few girls turn away from the utter crap written in magazines illustrating role models who aren?t even reality due to photoshop and trickery during photoshoots then I may well save humanity.
And let?s not beat about the bush. It is the parents fault. It is the fault of the medical and health systems.
BUT before you think I?m questioning anyone?s parenting skills, I firmly believe the problem is much deeper rooted than that and falls at the feet of those with the money and power at the head of these organisations.
The problem is that these organisations are just that.
Organisations without a face.
In the past, it was easy to assess.
Joe Bloggs was the head of the organisation and everybody did what he said.
Now people can hide amongst the relative anonymity of ?the board? and justify their own actions by the pressure of ?the shareholders?.
The shareholders in these organisations often now hide behind holding companies to blur the chain of responsibility even further.
We blame McDonald?s.
We blame Big Pharma.
We blame business pressures at work but don?t even know who really pulls the strings half the time.
IF we get the chance to voice our concerns to those who are in charge at work, we rarely will speak up for fear of losing our job.
Why?
Because we can?t bear the thought of having less money to spend on those things we don?t even need but feel we should have to keep up with everyone else doing the same thing.
Now I KNOW not everyone is in this position and many work their asses of to get by but I am writing from the viewpoint of my local island which in the main is a very wealthy place to live.
So we keep on bowing to societal pressures which make us:
- Work longer
- Focus on whatever needs to be done to make more money
- Keep the kids entertained with computers so we can catch up on email, get to that soiree with those people we can?t stand but need to schmooze with
- Spend on a bigger house which has 5 bedrooms for our 2 kids.
(I know it?s an investment for the children?s future. Personally I would take the lessons I learned from my Mum and Dad at the dinner table over money in the bank when I?m older because now I have the tools to do it myself.?Don?t get me wrong, my parents have helped me out financially to speed things up but realistically, by the time most kids inherit money when their parents pass away, if they?ve been educated well, they?ve figured things out and it?s more of a financial bonus)
I see so many people build bigger houses when their parents pass away. So they didn?t really NEED it, but it?s what we do ? especially here in Guernsey)
Anyway, my point is that we seem to be in this whirlwind of financial pressure which we, as adults, all create together.
And it is VERY difficult to get out of. How do you say ?No? at work when there is someone else ready to take your job if you don?t?
And what the hell has this got to do with fat teenagers anyway?
Well in my opinion, the world has become focussed on what we and our children ?might? need in the future and in the main it means screw whatever the hell is going on right now.
We want to pass the future on to:
- Schools
- Childminders
- Doctors and health services
- Sports teachers
And we all know there is a problem but nobody is doing anything about it?
Why?
I don?t really know other than what I just said.
It?s easier to focus on things we can directly quantify now.
More time at work = more money in bank = better future for child (technically).
We also disassociate our own problems with what happened in our own childhood when our parents and their parents didn?t have the same knowledge we have now about nutrition.
It is a common sight now to have fat Uncle Joe say ?It?s good to see the lad eat? right before Aunty Joan reminds him to take his heart pills, blood sugar pills and cholesterol pills.
He remembers the joys of stuffing his face with chocolates and other luxuries which only became mainstream as he was growing up but doesn?t put any of his metabolic diseases down to this.
?I?m just getting older?.
If we take all this back to basics, your kids are, and should be an extension of you.
How we treat ourselves will carry over to our kids until they grow up to see the light (if they ever do) or we admit that we made mistakes, did this wrong and need to make changes.
Let?s stop saying to kids ?You did so well today so now you can be naughty and eat this shite?
How about we say, ?You did so well, so you get to do (insert awesome activity) which will make you even better?
Why do we reward success with things that drag us down?!
This is best continue in a fictional conversation pulling together all the ?reasons? people give for letting kids eat badly and get fat, and the answers I?ve uncovered so far and have SEEN to work.
I?m not making this up or suggesting it ?might work?. This is TRUTH.
?I haven?t got time?
Haven?t got time for what?
To steam veg and grill meat which takes about 10 minutes followed by 1 minute putting it all in a box for lunch tomorrow?
Do you HONESTLY spend less than 11 minutes with your children in the evening?
Do you SERIOUSLY not cook an evening meal of some kind? Even microwaving stuff is going to take 5 minutes or so.
And how about we teach teenagers to grill stuff and chop vegetables?
I?m sure if they can figure out how to write a computer program that can hack into millions of bank accounts by the age of 13, they can peel a carrot.
?But I?m too tired to spend 10-15 minutes cooking?
You?re too tired because you?re trying to keep up with a child who is drugged up on:
- Sugars from cereals
- Sugars and toxic chemicals from fizzy drinks
- Sugars from sweets
- Sweeteners which increase cravings more than sugar does turning them into an aggressive monster who hates you because you?re trying to get them to go to bed when they are literally tripping on sugar. Try and get a druggie to lie down and go to sleep half way through a rave and see what happens.
- Stimulants
On top of this, because your child is not getting enough vitamins and minerals (sorry, 5-a-day is bullshit) they are likely not getting enough of nature?s relaxants, in particular magnesium.
You also don?t get them to eat enough quality, oily fish or take fish oils so, like you, they are not getting enough essential fatty acids into their brains.
This reduces concentration and creativity so they can?t sit still for more than 5 minutes and focus on something.
So rather than give up and say you?re too tired, why don?t YOU start the chain of events that will change this?
You?re also tired because you?re chasing the financial dreams and busting your ass for things which, even if you attain them, make you know happier.
Why?
Because insecurity never leaves no matter what you get.
Again if YOU change, it will help the child change.
?But they won?t eat healthily?
Case 1: We have an autistic 12 year old who had never eaten meat or a vegetable and was described as agrophobic by his mother.
After just two weeks of kickboxing and basic circuits?.
?Harry is taking your word as gospel. Please can you add sleep to your Hero Camp homework.
You?ve got him drinking water, which in itself is a miracle. In fact in one week you?ve surpassed the efforts of the pediatric feeding clinic and a whole host of medical specialists.
If you can sort the sleep, then you will be a Super Hero.
He?s looking forward to spending his 12th birthday at camp later. THANK YOU ?
The problem I see is that parents make a classic business mistake.
They try to sell healthy food to children.
Buy my healthy food and I?ll give you a treat. Classic door-to-door salesman!
The key in my opinion, is to get kids to BUY into healthy food.
Find out what it is that captivates them about life, then tell them why healthy food helps them get there.
I was never a healthy eater, then I read that muscley guys only eat clean carbs, fats, protein and veg.
Guess what I started eating?
See right now we get them to buy into BAD food!
Bad food is given as a reward for doing XYZ and all they understand is the false high afterwards. They learn to love bad food.
The human body wants healthy food when the mind and hormonal systems has not been intoxicated.
This might take some tough love, but humans will eat when they are hungry.
If you keep throwing in things to ?keep them going?, you?ll never get anywhere.
Take away the arm bands and the kid learns to swim.
And who are their role models?
I remember getting into spinach because Popeye ate it and he had big muscles.
Funny? Yeah, but it worked to get me to eat it.
We don?t give children the right associations. We don?t guide them to make the decision THEMSELVES to eat better to be like XYZ.
Now we let kids watch TV all day where some smart ANONYMOUS bastards know that by telling them that Olympic gymnasts eat at Subway and that by having McDonald?s plastered all over the World Cup, kids will be programmed FOREVER to believe that these places are part of becoming a real life superhero.
You can bet your ass more teenagers are eating Subway now because the TV said it will make them an Olympian!
Perhaps if you found better role models and asked these people for some of their time to speak to your child or group of children, they will BUY INTO IT.
Our role models are now athletes who eat in fast food joints, robotic superheroes with giant weapons or characters who ponce around in the SIMS probably not eating much protein or vegetables but building a world of perfection around them.
Doesn?t work like that kid ? life can be tough and you need to fuel your body right.
But the Duff Beer man on the systems who is pretty ripped, won?t tell you that!
?But kids need treats?
At what point did your child ever start the process by saying, ?Mummy, I?ve decided from now on I will only behave if you give me those sweets??
PARENTS glorify sweets from Day 1.
PARENTS start the slippery slope!
And they do this, because it?s easy.
It?s much easier to just dish out sweets than offer something else as a treat.
What about if we teach kids the truth from the start?
Life isn?t always going to give you what you want when you want it.
Sometimes, you have to accumulate karma points.
What about if 90% good behaviour over 3 months resulted in a trip to Disneyland?
If you?re not a parent yet, you have an advantage.
Psychology studies show that the old adage ?you don?t miss what you?ve never had is so true?.
You can do this and not have to reverse engineer your teenager later on!
If your child is addicted to sweets (yes it is an addiction hence the paddy in the shop at the suggestion of not getting a fix), it?s because you let them get started.
I watched a program once on raw food families.
Now I don?t condone this way of eating all the time but when asked if they would love to have a McDonald?s the 6 year old asked somewhat sarcastically ?Why would I want it? I?ve never had it before so I don?t miss it!?
I don?t disagree that kids can have some sweets here and there but not every single day.
That is no longer a treat but a way of life.
?But all the other kids eat that stuff and little Jimmy will feel left out?
Speak to the parents who are always at the parties.
If everyone makes the change and there is just one treat available at the party, the kids will just get on and play.
There is always ridiculous amounts of crap food left after parties. It?s not even necessary.
Kids don?t go to parties to eat crap food ? it?s just ?what WE do?.
Out of sight, out of mind.
Anyway, why will he feel left out?
What are you going to do when he grows up and wants drugs and alcohol and feels left out?
THEN we get tough and wonder why teenagers revolt and find other ways to defy their parents.
?What about the school canteen. I can?t control that?
If a child has a packed lunch and no money to buy extra food, the canteen is irrelevant.
Plus, we have 8 girls on the first Student Body Under 18 camp. They came in the other day COMPLAINING ABOUT THE CANTEEN because someone had explained what they should be looking out for to eat and why.
They also said they were going to speak to the teachers and see if they can get healthy foods.
So the teenagers can do something about it, but you can?t?
?But he/she has always been like this since I can remember?
This is where we have to look a bit deeper.
There are enough studies to prove beyond doubt that what goes on during pregnancy can largely set a human for life.
Angry mum, angry child.
Mum is high in toxic metals, child?s brain gets affected.
Lack of essential fatty acids taken in by Mum, slower brain growth in child.
The list goes on.
Again, we can?t blame the child.
Many Mums-to-be seem to see pregnancy as an excuse to eat ANYTHING.
Studies have shown the average expectant mother needs an extra 300 calories per day for growth of the foetus.
That?s about an extra chicken breast and a portion of rice.
Not 3 Double Deckers, 4 packets of crisps and a Chinese takeaway.
Inadequate intake of good fats during pregnancy has been strongly linked to postpartum depression so if you?re just doing whatever you can to pacify your child when they are young because you can?t cope, chances are you missed out on essential nutrients during pregnancy ? this can set up a chain of events for life.
?But the NHS / HSSD / doctor says?.?
All of the above are built on beliefs from:
1) Pharmaceutical companies who control the medical education system
2) Old rules ? it takes 5-10 years for new research to be confirmed and become mainstream advice, if it ever does. Another case of organisational inertia.
I once contacted the HSSD in Guernsey to ask if they would promote a free seminar series for me to share what we have proven to melt body fat, balance blood sugar, improve indicators of heart disease and improve the mental wellbeing of people in weeks.
I was told they would only if they knew I was speaking about what they promote as advice.
Enough said.
Could I have pushed the matter?
Not really because who do you speak to?
The buck will get passed on to the anonymous ?organisation? or ?department?.
You also need to realise that doctor?s have just 10 minutes to find a solution so you go away happy.
They don?t have time for nutrition advice or looking at mental stress leading to over eating -and yes this is just as common in children as adults.
I used to blame doctors for this, but it is now clear to me it is simply the system.
Why have they only got 10 minutes?
Because they are too busy trying to sort out THE ADULTS AND PARENTS who are also in a mess but could take responsibility for themselves more so than the children.
Change begins with those who willing to accept responsibility so let?s not just blame the system.
?Yes but if I don?t do what the doc says my child will get sick?
I?m not sure that the vaccines with mercury in will do wonders for your child.
I?m not sure drinking litres of milk filled with antibiotics and hormones and which cause a powerful insulin surge will do them much good either.
And by the way mother?s milk contains much, much more DHA (good fats) than any other milk so no it?s not the same.
And how did humans ever become the dominant species without Kelloggs, or drinking cow?s puss?
We (rightly) worry about our children not getting sick during their more fragile years and focus on vaccines, medication and protecting them from ?bad people? but all the while, we?re pumping them fall of toxins, giving them very low levels of vitamins and minerals, exposing them to less and less oxygen, stressing them out with chemicals and excitotoxins and dehydration all of which create a terrain ripe for bacteria and virus?s to thrive.
Few people are asking the question why girls are having periods earlier and earlier.
It?s largely because of the over-exposure to estrogens THROUGH THE MOTHER and through their younger years INCLUDING BABY FORMULA CONTAINING SOY, non-organic vegetables, non-organic shampoos and soaps containing xenoestrogens and in some areas oestrogen in the water supply due to the pill in waste water.
What?s the problem?
Over exposure to estrogen not only leads to the problem of tissue growth (increased fat cells) in estrogen sensitive areas (the triceps, hips and thighs in ladies and the ?moons? in men) contributing to fat teenagers, but also increases the risk of breast cancer.
Then we make it worse with HRT later in life and further exposure to estrogen beyond what is natural but this is of course a whole new debate with other considerations.
?What about computers because my child gets on my nerves when he?s bored?
Well in my eyes, children are getting more and more bored, not less!
We give them computer games in which the aim is to get from A to B.
We give them toys that tell them how to play.
Where?s the imagination?
Where?s the creativity?
What happened to working out how to make a castle out of a cardboard box? Or bails of hay like I used to.
They have more toys than ever but are more bored and want more (a bit like us adults really funnily enough?.)
I love how my friends Brian Grasso and Carrie Campbell only let their children have a new toy when they have chosen which one is to be given to the charity shop.
The child then decides if they really need it and has to consider whether actually the existing set of toys has more undiscovered potential.
?What would you rather do? Go the beach or have an ice cream??
Can we break the chain of events that society says is how it?s done? Beach = ice cream. Does it have to?
?And my child doesn?t like competition or sport?
Really?
No, your child doesn?t like being made to feel the odd one out because he?s not good at something.
Why don?t we figure out how to win at something else?
Every kids loves to get a trophy or win a prize at the fair.
WE LOVE TO WIN. ALL OF US.
What have we done?
We?ve told kids, winning isn?t everything and even have football matches where no score is kept.
The the child grows up and can?t handle the fact that:
- Hooking up with members of the opposite sex is a competition with interesting rules. But ultimately, you win or lose.
- They got turned down for 4 jobs and now think they are useless because they can?t handle losing.
- Even at work, adults will make fun of you.
What happens?
They bury their head in the sand and turn to things that don?t keep score.
Namely, eating food when nobody is watching.
You seriously think they don?t like competition?
Then why do they get so excited by Pass The Parcel or computer games that challenge you to get to the next level or kill 500 men to get the bonus rifle?
Why do they want that toy so bad just because everyone else has it?
Because children DO understand and value competition.
It?s what humans did to evolve and to dominate.
You don?t lose this. It only gets masked when we get over protective and shilled children too much.
Not every child will be a sporting superstar.
But give them the opportunities to discover and the fuel from nutrition to keep going and they WILL find what they are here to do.
Some Questions We Should Ask Teenagers Which You Might Like To Try
Who do you want to be like?
Why?
Why do you want to do THAT? (The second why is much, much more important because they have to actually think about it and reason)
What do you prefer out of X and Y?
Why? (Not ? you are going to do this)
Why did you do that?
How did that make you feel? (Not ?Did you enjoy that?? which just gets a meaningless nod)
How could you help this person get better? (Cultivates team spirit)
How could you help 50 other people like them? (The last two questions are the two most important business questions incidentally)
What Now?
I don?t know, this has mentally drained me and quite honestly and made me pretty sad because it is clear a massive task.
I have the utmost respect for every parent out there and I hope you can see a genuine desire here to help you make a difference.
Few people will stick their neck out to make a change but it?s what I do and we?ve seen results already with children on our Under 18 Girls Fitness Camp and Under 18 Boys Superhero Fitness Camp.
I just feel we, as adults collectively, are passing the buck on to anonymous systems and organisations which are easy to blame rather than:
- Naming names and asking the difficult questions
- Taking responsibility for ourselves as examples to the next generation
- Giving children more credit than they get for wanting to be fit and healthy
- Helping them see the light rather than taking the easy route and ?pacifying? them
- Assuming nothing can be done
I would love to hear your thoughts and expect many people to disagree with me on some or all of this.
That?s fine and if nothing else may give me more ideas to work with.
All I can say is that sometimes when we just learn to love ourselves, treat ourselves better and BE the shining example, others will copy and warm to us!
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